If That's What It Takes
by bohemiangirl
Summary: An accident at home leads to an unexpected and serious diagnosis. How will Derek and Meredith’s friends react to her news? I know that’s vague but I don’t want to give out too many spoilers. Meredith/Derek with a little bit of Cristina/Burke. Please read
1. Chapter 1

I'm juggling a few other fics at the moment but this kinda just came to me so I'm going to go with it and see what happens. If you read, please take the time to review, even if it's something short. I really appreciate any feedback. I hope you like this.

**CHAPTER ONE**

"It's raining!" George shouted loudly from downstairs. There was no response. "Izzie! Meredith! Our clothes are getting soaked!"

"Coming!" Izzie and Meredith shouted back, rushing down the stairs. The three doctors raced outside into the freezing cold rain and gathered their soaked clothes that had been left out to dry. They rushed back inside the house and shivered from the cold.

"Turn the heater up," Izzie said, her teeth chattering. "It's freezing."

"So much for the sunshine that the weather man promised," George muttered unhappily. "I hate Seattle weather." He noticed that Meredith hadn't said anything. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked her, noticing that she appeared a little short of breath.

"Yeah I'm fine," Meredith said, even though she wasn't feeling fine. She hadn't felt fine for a few weeks now.

"You look exhausted," Izzie said, pouring a glass of juice. "You look how I feel."

"Thanks," Meredith said sarcastically.

"Oh crap, look at the time!" George shouted out.

"We're so late," Izzie said, grabbing her bag from the kitchen counter and accidentally knocking her glass of juice from the table. It hit the ground and smashed sending orange juice and pieces of glass everywhere.

"We don't have any time to clean it up," George said. "I'm an intern. If I'm late I'll be doing rectal exams all week."

"But it'll stick to the floor," Meredith said, looking at the mess.

"Later!" George shouted heading out the door. Meredith and Izzie followed him. They climbed into George's car and barely had their seatbelts on before George tore out of the driveway and headed down the street.

"Shit!" Meredith said to herself as George turned the corner.

"What?" Izzie asked.

"We have to go back home, George."

"Look, Meredith, I'll clean the juice up later," George said. "You'll never know it was there."

"No, it's not that," Meredith said. "I left my notes on the kitchen counter. I need them to study up before my surgery." George looked annoyed.

"I'm sorry," Meredith said. "Look, just drop me off and I'll take my car to the hospital. You don't have to wait." George made an illegal u turn and drove back towards the house. He barely stopped long enough for Meredith to get out of the car. Meredith ran to the house. If she didn't hurry, she was going to be late herself. Meredith grabbed her notes from the counter and rushed back towards the door. As she took a step forward, she slipped on some of the orange juice and well backwards, her head slamming on the ground, knocking her out cold. Meredith lay there on the kitchen floor unconscious in the silent, empty house.

Xxx

"Where's Doctor Grey?" one of Meredith's interns asked George.

"She'll be here in a minute," George replied.

After forty minutes, Meredith still hadn't arrived at the hospital and George found himself worrying. Meredith was never this late and she would never leave her interns standing around with nothing to do. He had called her cell and there had been no answer. Suddenly George spotted Derek Shepherd walking through the hospital towards the doors.

"Doctor Shepherd!" George called out after him. Derek stopped and turned around slowly. He looked exhausted.

"O'Malley, I've just come out of an eight hour surgery and I have another one this afternoon. I need to sleep. Can you please page someone else?"

"It's about Meredith," George said. Derek's demeanor immediately changed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"It's probably nothing" George said. "But I dropped her home to pick up some notes forty minutes ago and she was supposed to come straight back but she's not here."

"That's not like Meredith" Derek said, thinking.

"I know," George said. "So if you're leaving can you-"

"I'll check it out" Derek interrupted, walking away.

Derek jogged to his car and drove off as fast as safely possible. He and Meredith had only just got back together and Derek still had what some would call an irrational fear of losing her ever since the drowning incident.

Derek sped through the congested traffic and pulled up outside Meredith's house, relieved to see her Jeep in the driveway. He rang the doorbell but there was no answer. He searched through his bag for the key that Meredith had given him and unlocked the door.

"Meredith?" he called out. The lights were switched off and everything was still. It didn't look as though anybody was home. "Meredith?" Derek called out again, turning the living room light on. He went upstairs and into her bedroom, expecting to find her in there but it was empty. Derek was really worried now. He checked every room upstairs but there was no sign of Meredith. He raced down the stairs and searched the rooms. When he reached the kitchen, his heart felt as though it was going to leap out of his chest.

"Oh God," he said to himself, spotting Meredith on the floor. He knelt down beside her and shook her slightly, checking her vitals at the same time. "Meredith!" He repeated her name over and over again trying to get her to wake up but she was out cold. Derek rested his hand under her head and felt something familiar. He pulled his hand away and it was covered in blood. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed 911 requesting an ambulance while searching for a towel to contain the bleeding.

As he spoke, Meredith started to stir a little. She opened her eyes but everything was foggy. Her head was hurting and she had the same difficulty breathing as she'd had that morning.

"Thank God!" Derek said, relieved when he saw Meredith open her eyes. "You're okay," he said gently placing a towel under her head. "It looks like you've slipped over and hit your head. You'll probably need stitches and you may have a concussion. There's an ambulance on its way." Derek flicked the little pieces of glass from the orange juice incident away from Meredith and looked lovingly into her eyes.

"Say something," he said. Meredith tried to take a deep breath but felt too weak to talk.

"It's okay" Derek said soothingly as he heard sirens in the distance.

Xxx

"What've we got?" Izzie asked as an ambulance pulled up at the hospital.

"This is Meredith Grey," the paramedic said. "Possible head injury resulting from a fall."

"What?" Izzie asked, confused. It wasn't until Derek stepped out of the ambulance that she believed what she had heard.

"I want you to do a CT scan," Derek ordered Izzie. "Get her in as soon as possible. I'll take her up."

"We can handle this, Doctor Shepherd," Bailey interrupted as she spotted Meredith being wheeled in. "There's a conflict of interest bigger than Mount Everest right here so if you don't mind, I'll call the shots for now." Derek looked as though he was going to protest.

"I know what tests to send her for and if it's anything neuro you'll be the first to know." Derek took a step back, reluctant but knowing that Bailey was right.

"It was the juice wasn't it?" Izzie asked Meredith who nodded weakly in response. Izzie looked guilty.

"Pupils are equal and reactive," Bailey said, shining a light into Meredith's eyes. "Doesn't look like a bleed but we'll do a CT scan anyway just to be sure. After you stitch her head back up that is." Bailey felt Meredith's wrist. "Her pulse is racing!" she said, surprised. "Meredith, you're gonna be just fine," Bailey said reassuringly, assuming that her resident was frightened. Izzie put her stethoscope on and checked Meredith's heartbeat. She was about to take the stethoscope away when she heard something that wasn't quite right.

"Doctor Bailey," Izzie said, in a concerned tone. "I think you should listen to this." Bailey looked confused.

"She's in here for a head injury, Stevens."

"I know," Izzie replied. "But I think you're gonna want to hear this." Bailey put her stethoscope on and listened to Meredith's chest. At first nothing seemed out of the ordinary but then she realized what Izzie had been concerned about. She pulled Izzie aside out of Meredith's earshot as Derek went over to her and kissed her on the head.

"I need you to page Doctor Hahn right now," Bailey instructed Izzie. "Tell her that it's urgent."


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to the people who reviewed the first chapter for me. I really appreciate the feedback and I'm glad that people have taken an interest in this story. Please continue read and review for me. I love hearing from you.

**CHAPTER TWO**

Izzie stitched Meredith's head up and she was sent for the CT scans that Doctor Baily had ordered. After looking them over meticulously, Derek was finally convinced that Meredith hadn't sustained a serious brain injury. Just a mild concussion.

"So should I take her home?" Derek asked Bailey. Meredith, who was still groggy, didn't seem to hear them.

"Uh… just a moment," Bailey stammered.

"Or did you want to keep her in for observation?" Derek asked, watching Meredith who appeared to be falling asleep.

"We're just waiting on another consult," Bailey said, looking through the folder that she was holding to avoid eye contact.

"Who's doing the other consult?" Derek asked. "Why does she need another consult?" Bailey ignored him and continued rummaging through the folder. "Doctor Bailey," Derek said louder, about to pull rank. "Who's doing the consult?" Bailey looked up at Derek.

"Erica Hahn," she responded. Derek looked confused. That certainly wasn't the response that he'd been expecting.

"Why?" he managed to stammer. Bailey took a deep breath.

"When Doctor Stevens was examining Meredith, she heard an irregularity. She asked me to take a listen and I heard it too. Now we don't know what's causing it so we've paged Doctor Hahn who's probably going to run some tests and give us some answers."

"What kind of tests?" Derek asked, sounding more like Meredith's boyfriend than a doctor.

"I don't know, Doctor Shepherd," Bailey said. "That's why we paged her." Bailey looked over Derek's shoulder. "Doctor Hahn!" she called out as she spotted Erica walking through the ED.

"What do we have?" Erica asked Bailey.

"It's Meredith Grey," Bailey said, handing Erica the chart. Derek moved closer to get a peek at the chart but Erica held it close to her chest

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked Derek.

"I'm a doctor," Derek replied.

"You're not her Doctor," Erica retorted with a shake of the head.

"Come on," Derek said.

"No," Erica replied. "Meredith is my patient now and if I'm to do a proper analysis I cannot have the head of neurosurgery who is also her boyfriend breathing down my neck. Now I suggest that you go for a walk." Derek looked pissed off.

"Come on, man," a voice from behind Derek said. He turned around and saw Mark Sloan standing there. Derek looked puzzled as to how Mark knew what was going on.

"Word gets around fast here. Nurses gossip," Mark said, answering the question. "Let's go to the cafeteria and let Doctor Hahn do her work." Derek looked back at Meredith reluctantly but decided to follow Mark. As they left Mark gave Erica a smoldering look. Erica rolled her eyes in response.

Erica went over to Meredith's bed where Izzie was standing there protectively.

"Doctor Stevens, are you okay to stay on this case?" Bailey asked. Izzie nodded. "Okay then, page me if you need me." Bailey left the ER for a scheduled surgery.

"Hi Meredith," Erica said, putting her stethoscope on. "I know you're a little groggy so I just want you to relax for me. I'm just going to have a listen to your heart." Meredith nodded weakly. Erica only listened for a few seconds before taking a step back and signaling for Izzie to do the same.

"There's definitely something there," she confirmed. "Good call, Stevens. I want her moved to the cardiac ward and I want you to organize an echocardiogram."

"You think it's surgical?" Izzie asked the fear evident in her voice.

"I don't like to speculate before I have a diagnosis, Doctor Stevens," Erica replied. "Just page me when the test is ready."

xxxxxxxx

By the time that Meredith's transfer to the cardiac ward had been finalized, she was still groggy but alert enough to know that something wasn't right.

"Where are we going?" she asked Izzie who was walking alongside the bed that the orderlies were pushing. "This looks like cardio."

"It is cardio, Mer," Izzie said. Meredith looked confused. "Do you remember Doctor Hahn examining you in the ER?"

"No," Meredith answered, trying to remember. She remembered slipping on the juice and the sound of Derek's voice but the rest was a blur.

"It's okay, you have a concussion," Izzie explained as they reached Meredith's room. "We just noticed a cardiac abnormality and we wanna check it out."

"What kind of cardiac abnormality?" Meredith asked with dread in her voice as her bed was moved into the center of the room.

"There was an extra heart sound," Izzie said, trying to sound positive. Meredith went quiet. That was not what she wanted to hear.

"Where's Derek?" she finally managed to ask.

"Hahn sent him away so that he wasn't getting in the way. He went to the cafeteria with Mark. We're about to do an echocardiogram. Do you want me to page him?" Meredith shook her head.

"I don't want to worry him."

"He's already worried, Mer," Izzie said, adjusting Meredith's pillows to try and make her more comfortable. "You should have seen him down in the ER. It was quite charming actually… when he wasn't giving orders."

"That's my Derek," Meredith said as Erica Hahn entered the room.

"How are you feeling, Meredith?" she asked, taking a seat beside the sonogram machine.

"Not as good as I felt before the whole cardiac abnormality thing," Meredith admitted. Erica gave her a reassuring smile.

"Well you're in good hands," she said. "Now you know how a sonogram works. It's an ultrasound of your heart. I'm just gonna run this over your chest and take a few photographs so that we have a better idea of what's going on, okay? I know it's not easy but try to relax for me." Erica's tone was comforting but not condescending and it did seem to calm Meredith's nerves a little. Erica began the sonogram. Meredith stretched her neck around to try and see what was on the screen but Erica moved the monitor so that it was out of Meredith's line of sight. Meredith closed her eyes and tried her best to relax as Erica took numerous images of her heart.

When it was finished, Meredith opened her eyes to see that Izzie wasn't in the room anymore.

"Where'd Izzie go?" Meredith asked.

"She was paged," Erica lied, silently vowing to scold Izzie later for rushing out of the room. "Now, Meredith, have you been feeling out of breath lately?" Meredith nodded silently. "What about feeling light headed or have you had any night sweats or unexplained weight loss?" Meredith nodded again.

"Yes," she said in a small voice.

"Have you coughed up any blood?"

"Once," Meredith admitted, angry at herself for not saying something sooner. She was a doctor after all. Erica nodded. Meredith had just confirmed her diagnosis.

"Meredith, we've found something. Would you like to wait until Derek gets back or is there anyone that I can call-?"

"Please just tell me," Meredith said, her voice sounding shaky. "I was nervous and then I was worried and now I'm just scared. Please just tell me what's going on."

"Okay," Erica said, admiring Meredith's bravery. She turned the monitor back around so that Meredith could see the still image on the screen. "You have what's known as an atrial myxoma. It's a tumor located in the connective tissue of the heart."

"I know what it is," Meredith said, wiping a tear away.

"It's located in your right atrium which is unusual but not unheard of," Erica explained. "These are non cancerous growths but-"

"I need risky open heart surgery." Meredith finished her sentence for her.

"That's right," Erica said. "And the sooner the better. We're lucky that we caught this now. If you hadn't fallen over this morning you might not have woken up one day. It can cause sudden death if left untreated." Meredith took a shaky breath. "I'm going to take care of you. I promise," Erica said, trying to comfort the terrified resident. Now Meredith knew why Izzie had left the room.

"Can you call Derek for me?" Meredith asked, unable to stop the steady flow of tears that were streaming down her face.

"Right away," Erica said, giving Meredith's hand a squeeze as she left the room vowing to tear Izzie Stevens to shreds.

**Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Please review.

**CHAPTER THREE**

"Izzie?" George asked confused, entering the on call room. "Izzie, did you page me?"

"Yes," George heard from inside. The lights were switched off but he could tell that Izzie was upset without needing to see her.

"What's wrong?" He asked her, concerned, turning the lights on. Sure enough Izzie was sitting on one of the beds in tears.

"Meredith…" Izzie stammered, wiping her eyes.

"Huh?" George asked, sitting down beside Izzie on the bottom bunk. "Did you have a fight?' Izzie shook her head, bursting into fresh tears. George put his arm around her. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"The juice, George!" Izzie sobbed.

"Juice?... Izzie, you've lost me," George admitted.

"She slipped over on the juice," Izzie sobbed. George looked even more confused.

"Is she okay?" he asked slowly.

"She has a tumor on her heart," Izzie stammered as she wiped her eyes with her hand. She looked over at George and realized that she hadn't been making any sense. She took a deep breath and started to explain again.

"Meredith slipped over the orange juice that I spilt this morning. She was brought here and she has a mild concussion but she had an irregular heart beat so Hahn did an echocardiogram and found a tumor on her heart…" Izzie started to cry again. "And I just left her in there, George. I freaked out as soon as I saw it on the monitor and I just left."

"It's okay," George said softly, pulling Izzie into a hug and trying to digest what she had just told him. "So she's having surgery?'

"She has to," Izzie replied.

"She'll be alright," George said, trying to reassure Izzie. "This is Meredith we're talking about. She has more lives than a cat. You know she'll come through this." Izzie took a shaky breath and nodded, trying to calm herself down. "Are you gonna be alright?" George asked Izzie, concerned.

"Yeah," Izzie replied, feeling a little embarrassed. "I'm not the one lying up there in cardio."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Derek Shepherd leaned against the wall of the cardio ward in shock. Meredith had asked Erica Hahn to tell him the news.

"Doctor Shepherd?" Erica asked. Derek hadn't said a word since Erica had explained her diagnosis. He looked shell shocked, the color completely drained from his face. "Doctor Shepherd, I have every confidence that the surgery will be a success," Erica explained.

"But you can't guarantee that something wont go wrong," Derek said despondently.

"I can't give any more guarantees than you can give to your patients." Derek nodded. Erica knew that his cold demeanor wasn't directed at her. He was a worried boyfriend now, not a doctor. "If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask," Erica said, leaving Derek in the hall.

"Thank you," Derek added quietly. He took a deep breath and went towards Meredith's room. He stood in the doorway for a moment, not knowing what to say. Eventually Meredith noticed his presence there.

"Hey," she said, relieved to see him.

"Hey," Derek replied. He sat on the side of her bed and gently kissed her on the lips. "How are you holding up?"

"Not so fine this time," Meredith confessed. It was a big thing for her to admit that she wasn't okay, to open up to Derek. Derek could tell that she had been crying. He took her hand in his. "I'm scared," Meredith added, looking at the wall.

"I know," Derek said. "Me too. But Hahn's a brilliant surgeon. She's confident that you'll get through it just fine."

"I know," Meredith said. "But I'm still scared." Derek didn't know what to say to comfort Meredith. He just knew that he needed to be close to her. He kissed her again and rested his face next to hers.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Erica Hahn sighed as she went to the nurses' station in the cardiac ward. She noticed Cristina looking through patient files. Erica stood there for a moment, an idea popping into her head. She had wanted to give Cristina a challenge for some time and wondered if this was the right challenge, or whether it was simply cruel. Cristina turned around as Erica cleared her throat.

"I was just… putting these in order for you," Cristina stammered.

"Thank you, Doctor Yang," Erica replied. She handed Cristina a patient chart. "Have a look at this chart and let me know if you want in. Doctor Stevens wasn't up to the challenge. I want this surgery scheduled as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Doctor Hahn," Cristina said, gratefully as Erica walked away. Cristina's elation turned to shock when she read the name on the patient file: 'Meredith Grey.'

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cristina crept over to Meredith's room, holding her patient chart. Even though it wasn't a common name, Cristina was trying to convince herself that her patient was some other Meredith Grey that she'd never met before. Her hopes were dashed, however, when she heard Meredith and Derek's voices coming from the room.

"Hey, Cristina," Derek said as he spotted Cristina standing uncomfortably in the doorway. He seemed relieved that she was there. Cristina and Meredith locked eyes.

"How did you get a cardiac tumor?" Cristina asked her as she went into the room, still in shock.

"How does anyone get a cardiac tumor?" Meredith asked. "Because God hates me, that's why."

"God does not hate you," Derek said. Meredith and Cristina gave him a look. "I'll leave you two alone," he said. He'd never understood their bizarre bond.

"Actually I'm here on business so you can stay," Cristina said. "Hahn's put me on your case."

"You're gonna be operating on my heart?" Meredith asked, surprised.

"Is that okay?" Cristina asked. "I doubt Hahn would let me do anything anyway." She noticed Meredith looking worried. "I won't do it if you don't want me there…" she added.

"No, it's not that," Meredith said. "It's just…. I know we're best friends and all but do you really wanna see that much of me?"

"Mer," Cristina started. "I've seen you drunk, I've seen you throw up, I've seen you high on morphine. Trust me, this is nothing in comparison." For the first time that day Meredith managed to crack a smile, not noticing Derek reading her patient chart. "Well, the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow," Cristina said. "Hahn wants me to keep you in over night for observation." Meredith didn't look happy with that information. "If you die, we can bring you back here. That's not gonna happen if you go home," Cristina said bluntly. "I'll come back after my shift."

"Why didn't you tell me about your symptoms?" Derek asked, appearing angry, holding up Meredith's patient chart, after Cristina left.

"That's private information," Meredith argued.

"I'm a doctor," Derek replied, continuing to read the chart.

"You're not my doctor," Meredith said. She leaned forward to snatch the chart back but was overcome by a wave of dizziness. "Whoa," she said, holding on to Derek as he steadied her.

"Lay back," Derek said, helping Meredith lie back down. "I'm sorry," he said, putting the chart back down. "Do you want anything?" Meredith shook her head, waiting for the dizziness to pass. When it did, she opened her eyes again and looked at Derek. "I'm a resident," she explained. "I'm always tired, I'm always exhausted. I know that throwing up blood is bad but it was once and it wasn't a lot so I just got back to work. That sounds stupid now, I know, but-"

"You don't have to explain," Derek said, running his hand though Meredith's hair. "Don't stress yourself out. Just rest."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cristina surrounded herself with textbooks to read up on Meredith's procedure. As much as she tried to pretend that it was just any other patient, she couldn't fool herself into becoming detached form this surgery. The more she read, the more Christina realized what a complicated procedure Meredith would be undergoing. Cristina pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and displayed a number on the screen that she hadn't dared to look at for many months. The number belonged to Preston Burke.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to people who have reviewed this. I really appreciate it. Please let me know what you think.

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Cristina waited nervously as Burke's cell phone was ringing. Several times she considered ending the call before he could pick up but she forced herself to go through with it, thinking of Meredith. Besides, she thought, his call log would let him know that she had been trying to call him so she may as well speak.

"Preston's phone," a woman answered.

"I… uh…" Cristina stammered, completely blown away by the female voice.

"Hello?" the woman asked.

"I need to speak to Burke… I mean Preston… I mean Burke," Cristina stammered, wishing that she hadn't placed the call in the first place.

"I'm sorry, he's in surgery right now," the woman said in a pleasant tone. "Can I take a message?"

"No," Cristina said, dejected, realizing that she didn't even know what city Burke was in. "It's fine." Cristina hung up the phone and steadied herself before getting back to work, making sure that her face didn't reveal the slightest hint of emotion.

xxxxxxx

Meredith and Derek heard a knock at the door of Meredith's room in the cardiac ward. They looked over to see Doctor Miranda Bailey standing in the doorway.

"You gave us quite the fright, Grey," Bailey said, stepping into Meredith's room with a stack of paperwork. "Look at you, always getting into some kind of trouble." Bailey looked over at Derek. "Don't you look a wreck?" she said frankly. "Anyone would think that you were the patient. Now go get yourself together. Go wash your face or brush your hair or something."

"Yes, Doctor Bailey," Derek said, standing up and leaving Meredith's room, still amazed how his subordinate had so much psychological power over him. Meredith managed a little giggle.

"He's scared of you," she said to Bailey.

"So he should be," Bailey replied. "Meredith giggled again." Bailey's face softened. "How are you doing?" she asked sincerely. "And don't give me any of that 'fine' crap."

"It feels like it's not really happening," Meredith admitted.

"I understand wanting to feel like that," Bailey said. "But this most certainly is happening. Now I know it's scary but as a doctor you know that a patient can fare better in a surgery if they don't have their head in the clouds." Meredith nodded. "Now I know you don't feel like it but you have to fill out all this paperwork," Bailey said, placing a stack of papers on Meredith's bedside table. "I wanted to deliver them myself and make sure that you're doing okay and that nobody's bugging you. I can only keep your fellow residents away for so long. Now page me if you need anything okay?" Meredith nodded. "I'll come and check on you before I leave." Bailey gave Meredith a wink before leaving. Meredith was glad that she had come to see her. Bailey always knew how to handle a situation.

Xxxxxxx

"Doctor Hahn," Izzie said in the strongest voice that she could muster, heading over to where Erica Hahn was looking at some scans near the nurses' station. "I'm sorry that I left you alone before."

"Don't apologize to me," Erica said, refusing to look at Izzie. "You should be apologizing to Meredith Grey. Imagine if you were a patient and your doctor freaked out and ran away. That doesn't do a lot for a patient's confidence, Doctor Stevens. I shouldn't even have to tell you that."

"I'm sorry," Izzie said again, ashamed. "It won't happen again."

"No, it won't" Erica agreed. She finally looked up at Izzie. "Doctor Yang is now on this case." Izzie looked lost.

"So where do you want me?" Izzie asked, trying to hide her surprise that Meredith's best friend had been put on her case over her.

"Out of my sight," Erica replied. "I'd heard many things about you, Doctor Stevens, and I was prepared to give you a chance but now I know why everybody warned me. You have a bad track record of letting your emotions get in the way of practicing medicine and the more chances the hospital gives you, the more you throw it back in our faces. I don't know how you're still here." Izzie didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She turned and walked away.

"Ouch. That was a bit harsh," Callie said to Erica, approaching the nurses' station. "One could also say that giving your residents a public dressing down like that is a big no no." Erica sighed.

"I'm not in the mood, Callie," she said dismissively.

"What's wrong with you?" Callie asked, surprised at Erica's snappiness. Erica sighed. "I heard about Meredith," Callie added. "It sucks, but you'll be fine. I'm sure you've done this procedure a million times before."

"Not on one of my residents," Erica replied. "Not on someone who everyone at this hospital knows and seems to adore. And," Callie was surprised to see Erica showing more than the slightest sign of doubt, "the last time I did this the patient ended up coding on the table. We couldn't bring her back."

"And you think that's gonna happen to Meredith?' Callie asked with raised eyebrows. "Geez, the last guy I did a femoral osteotomy on died of a blood clot. That doesn't mean it's gonna happen next time and I'd be stupid to think like that." Erica glared at Callie.

"I'm just saying that I'm under more pressure than usual. I never said I couldn't do it," she said before storming off. Callie made a face.

"She's so hot when she's angry," Mark Sloan said, approaching Callie at the nurses' station after he'd heard the end of her conversation with Erica. Callie laughed.

"Just try and hit on her now," Callie said. "I think you'd end up with a broken nose."

"Is it wrong that that turns me on?" he asked.

"Very," Callie laughed. "She's just a bit freaked out. I would be too if I had to operate on Meredith with the whole hospital watching my every move. Just give her some space."

"I can't promise that," Mark said. Callie stared him down. "Okay, maybe just for you," he said.

Xxxxxxx

Derek went into radiology where Alex and George were waiting on an MRI scan to show up.

"How's Meredith?" they both asked.

"Word gets around," Derek replied. "She's holding up good," he said, even though he wasn't holding up as well. "What've you got here?'

"A cerebral bleed," Alex answered.

"Why didn't you page me?" Derek asked.

"I figured you were busy…" George stammered.

"Yeah we were gonna page another surgeon," Alex added.

"Nonsense," Derek replied, studying the scan on the monitor and throwing himself into the distraction.

Xxxxxxx

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked as she saw Cristina struggling with something outside of her hospital room. Cristina didn't reply. She finally entered the room, wheeling a television on an enormous stand into the room.

"So you don't go crazy," Cristina explained, positioning the television where Meredith could see it. "Don't say that I don't do anything for you." She handed Meredith the remote and Meredith began channel flicking.

"Thanks," Meredith said, trying to find something to watch as Cristina listened to her heartbeat on her stethoscope and took her blood pressure. "You know that the nurses can do that?" Meredith asked.

"I know," Christina answered. "I'd just feel better if I do it." Meredith smiled at Cristina. Cristina wasn't one to express her feelings but Meredith knew that this was a big deal. Suddenly Cristina's cell phone started to ring from the pocket of her scrubs. She took it out and raised her eyebrows when she saw who was calling her.

"Who is it?" Meredith asked, noticing Cristina's reaction.

"It's Burke," Cristina said, locking eyes with Meredith.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Thank you to the people who have been reviewing. I do appreciate it and it encourages me to keep writing. So after you've read this please let me know what you think.

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Cristina stared at the caller ID on her cell phone. It was definitely Burke calling.

"Well, are you gonna answer it?" Meredith asked her from her hospital bed, momentarily forgetting about her own crisis.

"I don't know," Cristina stammered, sounding uncharacteristically unsure of herself.

"Why is he calling after all this time?" Meredith asked.

"Because I called him," Cristina admitted, unable to look at Meredith when as she said it. Meredith raised her eyebrows, surprised at Cristina's admission.

"Well what did he say?" Meredith asked.

"Nothing," Cristina replied. "I hung up… a woman answered the phone."

"A girlfriend?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know," Cristina said, sounding irritated. She would never admit that the thought of Burke with another woman hurt her beyond belief. "Okay, I'm just gonna answer it," Cristina said, psyching herself up.

"Too late," Meredith said as Cristina's cell phone stopped ringing. After a moment, it started ringing again.

"He's calling again," Cristina said nervously. "Burke's calling again."

"Why did you call him in the first place?" Meredith asked. Suddenly she realized. "Cristina, you didn't!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Gotta go," Cristina said, rushing out of Meredith's room.

"Cristina!" Meredith called out after her. "Hahn's gonna kill you!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay," Cristina said to herself as she stared at the cell phone after hiding in a supply closet to avoid being overheard. "Doctor Yang speaking," she said, answering the phone in a professional tone, immediately regretting it as she spoke.

"Cristina," Burke said, the sound of his voice hitting her harder than she'd expected.

"Hi…" Cristina stammered into the phone.

"You called me?" Burke asked, getting straight to the point.

"Yes," Cristina replied, trying to get her head together. "It's a professional issue."

"I figured," Burke replied. "I can't think why else you would have called me." Cristina paused for a moment. He sounded cold, although she didn't entirely blame him for that after the way that they had ended things.

"It's Meredith," she blurted out.

"What's happened?" Burke asked, sensing the slight waver in Cristina's voice.

"She has a cardiac tumor," Cristina replied. "A myxoma in the right atrium." Burke was speechless on the other end of the line. He had half expected that someone was unwell but Meredith was the last person that he would have thought of. "Hahn's scheduled her for surgery tomorrow," Cristina added.

"I see," Burke said. "Well Doctor Hahn is a wonderful, very capable surgeon."

"But she's not the best," Cristina reminded him. "And I want Meredith to be operated on by the best… Look, I don't know where you are and I'm not good with stuff like this but I want you to be the one to operate on her… because she's my person."

"And what does Meredith think of your idea?" Burke asked. There was a pause on the end of the line.

"She's all for it," Cristina lied. "She's resting at the moment..." Her voice trailed off.

"And Doctor Hahn?" Burke asked.

"She doesn't know," Cristina admitted. "I think you should be the one to tell her."

"Let me get this straight," Burke said. "You want me to come to Seattle, walk into the hospital and steal a big surgery away from the head of Cardiothoracics?"

"That's correct," Cristina replied. Burke sighed.

"Send me the scans," he said. "My email address is still the same. I'll work something out and I'll be in Seattle sometime tonight." Cristina breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said.

"I don't like the way you're going about this," Burke said sternly. "But I'm doing this for Meredith."

"I know," Cristina said appreciatively. "Thank you."

"I have to go," Burke said. There was an awkward silence before he hung up the phone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey," Derek said with his McDreamy smile as he went into Meredith's room. He sat on the edge of her bed and kissed her softly on the lips. Meredith gave him a little smile. "How are you doing?" he asked as he ran his fingers through her soft hair.

"Next question," Meredith said uncomfortably, not wanting to acknowledge her rising anxiety over the open heart surgery ahead of her. Derek looked concerned.

"You can talk to me, you know," he said, worried about her.

"I know," Meredith replied. "I just need to process everything. I don't want to talk to anybody about it right now because I'm trying to convince myself that it's really happening." Derek smiled sadly.

"You have that look," Meredith said, trying to change the subject.

"What look?" Derek asked. "I have a look?"

"You have many looks, but you're wearing your neurosurgeon look at the moment."

"I am not," Derek teased.

"Are too," Meredith teased back. "Did you get an interesting case come in?"

"Not really," Derek lied, taking Meredith's hand in his.

"Liar," Meredith teased. Derek sighed.

"A cerebral bleed," Derek admitted. "A big, messy, complicated bleed."

"Well are you gonna go take care of it?" Meredith asked.

"I thought about it but I'd rather be with you," Derek said, kissing her again softly on the lips.

"And the patient?" Meredith asked,

"Is being looked after by another neurosurgeon."

"Derek-"

"What?" he asked.

"Go take care of it," Meredith said. "If that patient dies because you weren't in the OR you'll feel terrible and I'll feel terrible because I was the reason that you missed the surgery." Derek looked as though he was going to argue but Meredith kept talking. "And I need to be alone. I need to process the idea that I'm having open heart surgery tomorrow and there's nothing that I can do about it. And I can't process that kinda information when you're in here walking around and being all McDreamy at me." Derek gave Meredith a smile. "That- right there- that's exactly what I'm talking about. You've thrown me right off!" Derek laughed and went over to Meredith's bedside. He kissed her tenderly on the neck, the face and finally the lips. "We can do more of that when you get back," Meredith said.

"I'm gonna hold you to your word," Derek said as he left the room. "Page me if anything changes. And I mean anything," he told Meredith's nurses.

Meredith closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself the next day, having her chest cut open, her sternum broken, her ribs pulled back and a tumor taken from an area surrounding her heart. If someone so much as moved the scalpel a few millimeters the wrong way and hit an artery, she could bleed to death in seconds. This was all assuming that the tumor could be removed safely. Meredith opened her eyes again. At that very moment she hated being a surgeon. She hated that she had seen this procedure performed before and knew exactly what they were going do to her and just how painful the recovery would be. She hated that her colleagues would be standing over her unconscious body performing the kind of surgery that she should be learning from.

Meredith wasn't just scared. She was terrified.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to those who have reviewed. I love hearing feedback so I really appreciate your comments. Sorry that I haven't been able to update this one for a while. I'm hoping that you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter. Please review.

**CHAPTER SIX**

Later that day Cristina checked her watch for what felt like the hundredth time since she had started assisting Erica Hahn as she inserted a pacemaker on a patient.

"Is there somewhere you have to be, Yang?" Erica asked, a hint of annoyance evident in her voice. "I can't help but wonder if I'm keeping you from something more important."

"No, not at all, Doctor Hahn," Cristina stammered more nervously than she wanted to. Erica looked over at Cristina, trying to figure out what she was up to. Erica didn't say anything and proceeded with the surgery, however Cristina's nervous movements and compulsive watch checking proved too much of a test to her patience and concentration.

"Yang, get out of my OR," Erica said, annoyed that her concentration had been broken yet again by her resident.

"Yes, ma'am," Cristina said. Erica stopped what she was doing and studied Cristina, unable to figure out why she didn't seem the least bit put out over being thrown out of the OR. She watched Cristina leave in a hurry.

"Keep an eye on Yang today," Erica said to the nurses as she went back to her surgery. "I don't trust her."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith closed her eyes once again and tried to visualize the surgery ahead of her. She wanted to be completely prepared for anything that could happen. Meredith remembered assisting Erica Hahn on a similar surgery a few weeks earlier. In her head, Meredith went through the steps that she had been guided through that day. The last memories of that particular surgery involved the patient crashing and the surgical team doing everything in their power to try and save him, but it was too late. Meredith opened her eyes again, her breathing increasing rapidly. Everything in the room seemed to be spinning as she struggled to take a breath. Suddenly an alarm on a monitor that she had been hooked up to started beeping and a few nurses ran into the room.

"Page Doctor Hahn," one of them said urgently.

"Hahn's in surgery," Meredith heard a familiar voice say as Izzie ran into the room. "What do we have?"

"Her heart rate's increasing rapidly," the nurse replied.

"Give her diazepam, 5 milligrams," Izzie instructed as she reached for an oxygen mask and placed it over Meredith's face.

"It's okay," Izzie said comfortingly as her eyes met Meredith's. She could tell that Meredith was panicked. "I can take it from here," Izzie said to the nurses. They looked at her questioningly but did as they were told.

"Take some deep breaths for me," Izzie said softly to Meredith, trying to calm her down. Meredith tried but it seemed almost impossible. Izzie increased the oxygen and rested her hand comfortingly on the side of Meredith's face. "You're okay," she promised. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Izzie's calm demeanor appeared to eventually settle Meredith. The machine showed that her heart rate had eventually returned to normal. What was considered normal for a patient in her condition anyway. Izzie took her stethoscope and checked Meredith's heartbeat.

"Was all that from anxiety?" Meredith asked, pulling the oxygen mask from her face so that she could talk.

"I think so," Izzie said as she listened to Meredith's heartbeat. "I want to take some blood and get your cardiac enzymes tested though, just to be sure," she said. Meredith nodded and looked away so that Izzie couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"I was just coming up here to apologize to you," Izzie said to Meredith. "I shouldn't have left you here earlier. It was extremely unprofessional and I'm very sorry."

"It's fine," Meredith said, still avoiding eye contact with Izzie. "I probably would have done the same thing. It's in the past now." Meredith tried to sit up.

"What are you doing?" Izzie asked, putting her hands on Meredith's shoulders. "You shouldn't be moving around too much."

"I'm going crazy here," Meredith confessed. "I just need to get some air."

"Just stay put," Izzie said. "I know you're not used to doing nothing but it's in your best interests to stay put. At least until Doctor Hahn gets here." Meredith let Izzie help her to lie back down.

"Cristina's in surgery with Hahn so I'll take over until she gets back," Izzie said to Meredith. I'm going to go and get the kit to take your blood and then we'll go from there." Meredith sighed and tried to relax. As Izzie left the room, Meredith tried her best to visualize the surgery that she would be having but again she felt herself overcome with anxiety, despite the sedative that the nurses had given her. Meredith felt the room begin to spin again but she detached herself from the monitor before it could raise the alarm.

Izzie went to the supply room to find the kit to take Meredith's blood. Suddenly her pager went off. It was from the clinic.

"Damn it," Izzie said. She left the supply closet. "Keep an eye on Meredith Grey," she instructed the nurses. "I'll be back in ten minutes."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cristina paced around the front of the hospital anxiously. The sun was beginning to set in the sky over Seattle. It could be hours before Burke arrived but Cristina wanted to be the first to see him. Not for personal reasons- she would rather repeat her intern year than face all the baggage left behind between them, but Cristina knew that she had to try and contain as much damage as possible from the fallout that would result at the hospital from Burke's return. She knew that Erica would be enraged and her ego might never recover. The Chief of Surgery didn't know that Burke was coming. Meredith didn't even know. All that Cristina cared about was Meredith making it safely through surgery, no matter what the cost. It was a testament to how much she had grown during her time at Seattle Grace. The old Cristina would have put career before everything. The new Cristina still cared immensely about her career in Cardiothoracics but she cared about the people that she loved more.

"Cristina," a smooth, familiar voice said, bringing her back to the present moment. Cristina looked up to see Preston Burke standing before her, looking as handsome as ever.

For the whole trip to Seattle, Burke had wanted to be angry at Cristina. Honestly, he wasn't as angry at her as he was at himself, but the entire public break up had been humiliating for him. When he laid eyes on her, however, any determination to direct his anger towards her vanished. His face softened as their eyes met.

"You're looking well," he said in a quiet, yet strong voice.

"I haven't told Meredith yet," Cristina blurted out, changing the subject to something professional.

"I thought you said that-"

"I lied," Cristina said. "I just needed to get you here. Now that you're here, I plan on telling her." Burke sighed.

"Let's do it then," he replied as Cristina led the way into the hospital.

As he followed Cristina though the familiar halls of Seattle Grace hospital, Burke politely acknowledged the surprised faces of his former colleagues.

"Doctor Burke!" George exclaimed from a staff base where he was filling in paperwork. "Are you back?"

"Only for one surgery," Burke replied, smiling at George. "I don't want to intrude on Doctor Hahn's territory." Despite what he had just said, Burke knew that that was exactly what he was doing and he couldn't help but feel guilty about it.

Cristina walked ahead of Burke through the cardio ward but stopped suddenly when she reached the doorway to Meredith's room.

"Where's Meredith Grey?" she asked a passing nurse.

"She was just here," the nurse replied.

"Well she's not now," Cristina said, angrily. They went into the room. Meredith definitely wasn't there and her heart monitor was detached.

"Shit," Cristina said under her breath.

"We need to find her now," Burke said urgently. He had seen Meredith's scans and knew exactly how serious the situation was.


	7. Chapter 7

I really appreciate the reviews. Please keep them coming.

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

"Where did she go?" Cristina shouted at the nurses who searched the ward frantically for Meredith, their missing patient.

"She was just here…" one of the nurses said as she scurried about.

"We've established that she was here," Cristina responded angrily. "I swear to God if anything's happened because you-"

"Cristina," Burke interrupted, moving Cristina's pointed finger away from the intimidated nurse. "Threatening the nurses isn't going to help us find her. Let's just page people and look around and I'm sure we'll find her." Cristina knew that Burke was right. He had calmness about him and she knew why. If the doctor appears panicked, everybody else panics. The flustered nurses after Cristina's outburst were proof of that.

"Somebody should tell Doctor Shepherd," a nurse spoke up. "He'd want to know."

"I can do it," Burke volunteered. "The rest of you work on finding Meredith and getting her back on that monitor. When you find her, I want you to run another echocardiogram and make sure that her condition hasn't changed.

"Right away, Doctor Burke," Cristina replied. As awkward as it was for her personally to see him again, she felt much more confident about Meredith's surgery now that he was calling the shots. She would feel even more confident when they found out where the hell Meredith was.

Preston Burke headed to the surgical ward taking long, confident strides. As he walked he searched every face for that of Meredith Grey. He knew that her condition could strike anybody but it still shocked him that Meredith of all people had been affected. Surely she had been through enough drama.

"Oh you have to be kidding me." Burke heard a familiar voice behind him. He turned around to face a furious Erica Hahn.

"Hello Doctor-"

"Yang called you, didn't she?" Erica asked, hands on hips. "I don't know what kind of arrangement you two have and I don't care because this surgery is mine."

"Look, I-" Burke started.

"No, I don't care what you have to say," Erica shouted. "You had your chance here and you let it go. I can't believe that the Chief-"

"The Chief doesn't know I'm here," Burke interrupted. "I understand that you're upset but Meredith is missing and we need to find her or else-"

"I know what else," Erica interrupted this time. "I can't trust anybody in this hospital as far as I can throw them," she muttered to herself storming off to find out where Meredith was.

Burke continued down the hall towards OR 2 where Derek was operating. When he reached the scrub room he took a mask to cover his face and opened the door.

"Doctor Shepherd," Burke said.

"What?" Derek asked, annoyed that his concentration had been broken. As he finished the most difficult part of the procedure he suddenly realized who had spoken to him.

"Preston?" he asked, turning his head to make sure that he was correct.

"I need to speak with you for a moment when you're ready," Burke said.

"Is there a problem?" Derek asked.

"I need to speak with you when you're ready," Burke said again, not giving anything away. Derek knew that it had to be about Meredith. He turned to the senior resident assisting him.

"Can you close for me?" he asked him. "I need to go. Just page me if you need anything." Derek handed the surgical tools to the enthusiastic resident and left the OR. "What's happened?" he asked Burke with dread in his voice.

"Meredith seems to have gone missing," Burke said as he and Derek walked quickly through the ward.

"What?!" Derek asked angrily. "What you mean she seems to have gone missing."

"We can't find her," Burke said in a steady voice. She's been taken off all her monitors. Derek felt sick.

"Doctor Burke!" Richard Webber shouted from the other end of the hall. He stormed towards Burke and Derek. "You know damn well that it is against procedure to just come in and steal surgeries without-"

"Not now, Doctor Webber," Burke said as he and Derek got into the elevator. "Meredith is missing."

"I'm sure she'll turn up," Callie said to Erica as they searched the halls for Meredith. "Surgeons aren't used to lying in bed all day. She probably just needed to go for a walk."

"Preston probably hid her himself so that he can find her and save the day," Erica replied bitterly. "What?" she asked irritably as Callie laughed at her.

"You really don't like him do you?" Callie asked.

"No, I don't," Erica replied, checking a supply closet for Meredith out of sheer frustration. "What makes him think that he can do this procedure better than me? Not that there'll be a procedure if we can't find the patient."

"She'll turn up," Callie said, trying to reassure Erica.

"Who'll turn up?" Izzie asked, helping a nearby patient into a wheelchair, as she overheard their conversation.

"Meredith's missing," Callie replied.

"I was just with her," Izzie said in disbelief. "She had a bit of an anxiety attack. I was going to run some tests just to be sure."

"And why didn't you?" Erica asked, taking her mood out on Izzie.

"Because I was thrown off the case and I got paged to a patient that I had been assigned to," Izzie snapped back. Maybe your resident should have been on the case."

"Fighting isn't going to help find Meredith," Callie said, trying to diffuse the situation between Erica and Izzie. "Let's just find her and you can argue later." Callie turned to Izzie. "Now, if Meredith was freaking out like you said, where would she go?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith opened the door to her house as the taxi that she had taken sped away. She welcomed the peace and quiet that the house offered, a far cry from the noise and chaos of the cardiac ward. Meredith was well aware that what she had done was irresponsible, especially for somebody who knew exactly how serious her situation was, but the anxiety had overcome her to the point where all rational thought was lost. All she could think about was getting out of that hospital and in to an environment where she could think. She had pulled her lengthy jacket over her hospital gown and taken a taxi home. She planned to return before too many people noticed but she needed to think for awhile.

Meredith went over to the couch in the living room and lay down with her eyes closed. She was sure that the dizziness and uneasiness that she had felt was the result of being shut in a hospital room but it seemed to be getting worse with each passing minute. Meredith tried to relax and imagine the procedure but she could feel her heart racing beyond what she knew was normal. Suddenly she cursed herself for going home alone. She was in serious trouble and no one knew where she was.


	8. Chapter 8

I wanted to update this sooner but I have been sick and also had a bad case of writer's block. I hope you enjoy this chapter though. Please review.

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"Any sign of Meredith?" Richard worriedly asked Erica, Callie and Izzie. They all shook their heads.

"She's not in good shape, Chief," Erica said. "Which is why I had her on full bed rest under constant medical supervision. The fact that no one even noticed her leave just proves my point that-"

"Calm down," Callie said, putting her hands on Erica's shoulders. She didn't want Erica's anger at Burke to risk her future at the hospital or delay them finding Meredith.

"No one seems to have seen her, Chief" Callie said, sounding worried.

"I just looked at her latest round of observations," Burke added calmly, joining them. "We need to find her now."

"You think?" Erica asked with angry sarcasm.

"She's not anywhere in the hospital grounds," George said breathlessly as he ran back to the group.

"Bathrooms are clear, so's the cafeteria," Cristina added, following George.

"She's not in any of the surgical galleries," a worried Derek said, joining them.

"This isn't good…" Richard said under his breath. Where the hell was Meredith?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex Karev sped through the streets of Seattle. He had forgotten his meticulous notes for Mark Sloan's surgery and had raced home in a short break between surgeries to get them from the desk in his bedroom. Alex pulled into the driveway, parked his car and raced into the house, up the stairs and grabbed the notes. As he ran back down the stairs, Alex did a double take when he saw what looked like Meredith lying on the couch in the living room.

"What the hell?" he asked himself as he went over to the couch. "Meredith?" he said, when he realised that it was her seemingly asleep. He had no idea why she was there. He had seen her only an hour ago resting in the cardiac ward. "Meredith," he said again, shaking her shoulder gently. Meredith didn't respond. Alex suddenly got a sickening feeling in his stomach. He knelt down, gently lifted Meredith's left wrist and checked her pulse rate. It was very irregular.

"Shit," he said to himself. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed 911.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fifteen minutes later, Richard, Derek, Callie, Erica, Burke, Izzie, George and Cristina stood at the ambulance bay outside Seattle Grace. They had received a page from the ambulance crew informing them that Meredith Grey was being brought to Seattle Grace in a serious condition.

"This never should have happened," Derek muttered under his breath. He was filled with anger and just wanted to hit something or someone, but he knew that would only make things worse.

"Is she okay?" Mark Sloan asked, rushing out to the ambulance bay where the others were gathered. Word had already spread around the hospital.

"I don't know," Derek said quietly, the fear evident in his voice.

"She would be if she had stayed put," Erica muttered bitterly.

"I didn't make her walk out of here," Burke argued, turning towards Erica. They glared at each other.

"This isn't about placing blame," Richard said, stepping in between the two angry cardiothoracic surgeons. He looked around. "It's way too crowded here. Stevens, O'Malley, Torres, Sloan," you're not needed here. Go." Richard watched as the doctors protested but eventually left. "Doctor Burke, please wait for me in my office. I'll deal with you later," Richard added.

"But Chief-" Burke started to argue.

"I said, I'd deal with you later," Richard said. Burke reluctantly turned and went inside, leaving Richard, Derek, Erica and Cristina standing there.

"I can't believe you did this," Erica said to Cristina with quiet anger. "I can't believe you called Burke. I don't understand why you were kissing my ass for so long if you have no confidence in my ability as a surgeon."

"It's not that-" Cristina started, defensively.

"Get out of my sight," Erica interrupted. "And bring me another resident." Cristina looked over at Richard, hoping that he would interject.

"You heard her," Richard said. "Go and wait with Doctor Burke in my office." Cristina nodded, realizing that it was a no win situation. She turned and headed back into the hospital leaving Richard, Derek and Erica standing in the ambulance bay. Finally they heard the sound of ambulances. Derek breathed a nervous sigh as the ambulance slowed to a stop. As much as he wanted to rip the doors open and hold Meredith, he stood back, knowing that he could make things worse by interfering.

"How is she?" Erica asked as the paramedics opened the doors.

"She's semi conscious," Alex said, jumping out of the ambulance. "And having major arrhythmias."

"Let's get her inside," Richard said. Derek followed them into the ER, his hands trembling.

When they reached the ER, Erica took a stethoscope and listened to Meredith's heartbeat. "We're going to have to defibrillate to try and get her heart back to a semi normal rhythm," she said.

"I'll get it," Izzie said, rushing over to them. "I'm Cristina's replacement." Izzie handed the defibrillator to Erica who waited for it to charge before pressing it to Meredith's chest. Derek's heart broke as he watched Meredith thrash violently from the force of the electricity jolting through her. Erica listened to Meredith's heartbeat again.

"Still no change," she said. "Charge it again."

"Yes, Doctor Hahn," Izzie said, programming the machine.

"Clear," Erica ordered, making sure that all hands were away from Meredith. She shocked Meredith again. Derek felt tears well in his eyes as he watched on.

"Still no change," Izzie said, checking Meredith's heartbeat.

"Okay, charge it again," Erica ordered.

"Oh God," Derek said quietly to himself as he watched the doctors work on Meredith.

"You shouldn't watch this," Mark said, stepping in front of Derek so that he couldn't see Meredith.

"Move," Derek said angrily, pushing Mark out of the way just in time to see Meredith shocked again. "Oh God," he said again to himself. He looked over at Mark. "I can't stand this," he confessed.

"Come on, let's just go for a walk and then we'll come back and-" Mark started.

"No," Derek said defiantly. "I'm not leaving her again."

"Alright then," Mark said, crossing his arms and standing beside Derek.

"What are you doing?" Derek asked Mark.

"I'm not leaving you either," Mark answered as Erica shocked Meredith again.

"Her heartbeat's back to how it was," Izzie said to Erica as she listened to Meredith's heartbeat with a stethoscope." Erica leaned forward and did the same.

"It's not ideal but it's an improvement," Erica said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Take her up to the cardio ward," she said to Izzie. "And do not leave her side. When she wakes up make it very clear to her that if she even thinks about leaving again I will not hesitate to sedate her."

"Yes, Doctor Hahn," Izzie replied, grateful to be given a second change at Meredith's case. With the help of some orderlies, Izzie led Meredith away.

Erica breathed a sigh of relief.

"Nice work, Doctor Hahn," Richard said.

"She's not out of the woods yet," Erica said. "I'm thinking of moving the surgery forward."

"Whatever you think is best," Richard said. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my office." Erica nodded as Richard left. She turned to Derek and Mark.

"Thank you," Derek whispered gratefully with tears in his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry about the lack of updates with this fic! I wish I had got around to writing this earlier. Hopefully you are still interested! To refresh your memories, last chapter Alex found Meredith unconscious at the house after she left the hospital. An ambulance brought her back to Seattle Grace where Erica stabilized her again. Burke and Cristina have been sent to Richard's office.

**CHAPTER NINE**

Cristina stood uncomfortably in one corner of Richard's office, wishing that she could melt into the walls. Burke stood on the other side of the room with his arms crossed in front of him. The awkward silence strained between them as they waited for the Chief of Surgery to discipline them. Burke pretended to scratch his neck and snuck a look at Cristina. When she noticed this he looked away quickly, only adding to the tension in the room. After what seemed like an eternity, Richard entered his office and both Burke and Cristina breathed a sigh of relief.

Richard walked angrily to his desk and stood before Burke and Cristina with his arms crossed.

"Would one of you like to explain to me what the hell is going on?" He demanded angrily. Burke and Cristina looked at each other uncomfortably, not knowing where to start. "Well?" Richard asked when he didn't receive an explanation. Burke cleared his throat.

"Doctor Yang called me asking me to treat Meredith Grey," Burke finally said. Cristina looked at her feet. It hurt to hear him refer to her simply as 'Doctor Yang' in such a formal tone.

"Is that correct, Doctor Yang?" Richard asked.

"Yes, Sir," Cristina replied. There was no point denying it.

"Doctor Burke, you handed in your resignation months ago. What makes you think that you have the authority to come back unannounced and undermine Doctor Hahn's authority?"

"I saw how serious Meredith Grey's condition was," Burke answered. "I have had a very high success rate in this surgery."

"A higher success rate than Doctor Hahn?" Richard asked, unimpressed.

"Yes, Sir," Cristina said.

"What?" Richard asked, surprised at what she had said.

"I looked it up," Cristina continued. "While Doctor Hahn is very well respected in Cardiothoracics, Doctor Burke has seen more patients with Meredith's particular condition before… and he has a lower mortality rate in this particular surgery. That's why I called him." Richard was silent. This wasn't what he had expected to hear.

"What are the statistics?" Richard asked.

"I have them in my cubby," Cristina replied. "I can get them for you," Cristina replied. Richard nodded, giving permission for Cristina to leave.

Cristina exited Richard's office only to see Erica Hahn standing just a few meters away.

"Well?" Erica asked, hands on hips, demanding an explanation. Cristina simply looked at her feet and continued to walk, leaving Erica infuriated. Erica turned her attention back to Richard's soundproof office and watched on as Richard appeared to be shouting at Burke. _At least someone here is on my side _she thought to herself.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith opened her eyes. She had been drifting in and out of consciousness for awhile but she was aware of everything that had happened. As her eyes readjusted to the light, Meredith could see Derek and Izzie talking in hushed voices with serious expressions on their faces.

"Hey!" Izzie said, cheerfully, noticing that Meredith was awake. She went over to her bed side. "How are you feeling?" Meredith didn't reply. "You did a really stupid thing, Mer," Izzie said. "You could have died."

"I know," Meredith whispered, avoiding eye contact with Izzie. "I'm sorry."

"Hahn wanted me to tell you that she would sedate you if you even think about getting out of bed," Izzie said. "But I'm sure you realize that. I'll be back to check on you in a little while." She gave her friend a supportive smile. Meredith nodded, despondently.

"How is she?" George asked anxiously as Izzie left Meredith's room. He and Alex had been waiting in the hall.

"Lucky you found her when you did," Izzie said to Alex. "She's stable now but Hahn had to defibrillate her. She might move the surgery forward."

"Can we see her?" George asked. Izzie looked hesitant.

"I think that we should give her a moment with Derek." George noticed something in Izzie's eyes that wasn't right.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't know," Izzie said. "There's something different about her. She seems… depressed or something."

"I'm sure even you'd be depressed if you'd had a day like hers, Izzie," Alex said.

"No it's not that…"Izzie said, her voice trailing off. "I can't put my finger on it. But I know that a patient has a better chance of a positive outcome if they go into surgery in a good frame of mind." Izzie left George and Alex in the hall as she wandered off, deep in thought about how to help Meredith.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey," Derek said to Meredith, giving her his McDreamy face. It wasn't what Meredith had been expecting. She had been expecting him to yell at her or glare at her. She wouldn't have blamed him if he did. At first that was what Derek had wanted to do as well. He had wanted to tell Meredith how stupid she had been and how scared he was of losing her. But one look at Meredith told him that she was beating herself up over what she had done more than anyone else could. Yelling at her would achieve nothing. Derek leant over Meredith and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you," he whispered. Meredith hardly responded.

"I just needed to get out of here," Meredith finally said, in a soft whisper. "I hate how everyone looks at me and how they're fussing over me."

"You're a patient," Derek replied. "It's their job to fuss over you."

"I'm a surgeon," Meredith said. "I fix things. I don't like being the one that has to be fixed."

"I know," Derek replied. He knew that he would feel the same if he was in Meredith's position. "Just think that this will all be over soon and you'll be back to fixing people again."

"If I survive the surgery," Meredith said, turning on to her side and looking away from Derek.

"What makes you think you're not going to survive the surgery?" Derek asked. Meredith shrugged.

"Things go wrong all the time, even in routine surgeries. This is risky surgery."

"You're not going to die," Derek said, his voice barely holding steady.

"You don't know that," Meredith replied.

"Yes I do," Derek replied. "You are not going to die."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Richard stepped outside his office to where Erica was still standing. She didn't pretend to be doing something else. She was pissed off and wanted Richard to know it.

"Did you sort it out?" Erica asked Richard. She wanted Burke gone.

"Can you please step into my office?" Richard asked politely. Erica followed Richard back into his office. Richard went to his desk and looked uncomfortable.

"Doctor Hahn, Doctor Burke is going to assist you in Meredith Grey's surgery," Richard began. "He has an impressive record in this particular surgery and I think that it is in Meredith's best interests to have two accomplished surgeons operating on her." Erica's jaw dropped.

"What's the point of me even working here if he is he's just gonna waltz in and steal my surgeries?" Erica asked Richard angrily. She was almost yelling at him. "I am insulted that you would undermine me like that."

"I understand that you're angry," Richard said diplomatically. "You are right. Doctor Burke had no right to treat patients unauthorized. I have already made it clear to him that I am unimpressed with what he did. I am not giving him your surgery. I believe that you are an amazing cardiothoracic surgeon but with Doctor Burke assisting you, this gives the patient the best possible chance. I am now authorizing him to help treat your patient."

"If this was any other patient than Meredith Grey would you be going to all this trouble, Doctor Webber?" Erica asked. Richard looked as if he was going to reply but then said nothing. "No, I didn't think so," Erica said as she stormed out of his office.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

"Doctor Hahn," Richard shouted angrily as Erica stormed through the surgical halls of Seattle Grace hospital. Erica ignored Richard and continued to walk straight ahead. No body dared to get in her way. "Doctor Hahn!" Richard shouted again. Erica finally stopped and turned to face Richard angrily with her hands on her hips.

"Do not walk away from me while I am instructing you," Richard said angrily, not caring that people were starting to stare. "I told you the treatment plan for Meredith Grey and my orders will be obeyed. Do I make myself clear?" Erica's face turned a shade of red from the embarrassment of being reprimanded so publicly.

"Fine," she muttered with quiet anger. "I will work with Doctor Burke on this surgery. I will give it one hundred percent and then I'm done.

"Excuse me?" Richard asked.

"You heard me," Erica replied. "I'm done. I don't want to work for people who don't have confidence in me as a surgeon. You can tell Doctor Burke that if he wants to be back here so bad, the job's his. I'm done."

"Doctor Hahn," Richard started, in a more calm voice as he tried to reason with Erica. "I never-" but his words fell on deaf ears as Erica disappeared from sight. "Get back to work," Richard told the crowd that had gathered for their showdown.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, Mer!" Izzie said with a smile as she went back into Meredith's room. Meredith looked up at Izzie and didn't respond. Izzie wasn't sure whether she was simply exhausted from the days events or whether her mood had continued to deteriorate. "I bought you some DVDs!"

"Thanks," Meredith said softly. She didn't seem interested in finding out what they were. Izzie looked at the comedies that she had selected and chose what she thought would be the funnier movie.

"Iz, I just want some quiet time," Meredith said weakly in protest as Izzie put the DVD in the player. "I'm really not in the mood."

"I know," Izzie said. "I've been watching you and I don't think it's healthy for you to go into surgery in such a negative frame of mind."

"Iz, given the circumstances I think even you would be forgiven for not being enthusiastic about being the surgical patient."

"I understand that," Izzie said. "But you seem to think that you won't survive the surgery." Meredith accusingly looked at Derek, who was sitting on a chair beside the bed.

"I thought she should know," Derek said, defensively. "She's your doctor."

"You should be more confident," Izzie said. "It's not every day that a cardio patient gets two of the greats operating on her."

"Huh?" Meredith asked, confused.

"Oh haven't you heard?" Izzie asked, apologetically. "Sorry, Burke's here and Richard wants him and Hahn to do the surgery together so you should be extra confident."

"Hahn's gotta be loving that," Meredith said.

"Oh she is," Izzie replied with a mischievous smile. "It's all happening out there… but none of that should concern you because you're going into surgery in just under four hours." Izzie took the remote control and pushed play before handing it to Derek. "Now, Meredith, you will watch the movie, you will laugh and have fun and think happy things okay?"

"Finding Nemo?" Meredith asked cynically as the movie started. "I'm really not into cartoons, Iz."

"Just watch it," Izzie said. "I'm trying to help you here but I need you to help yourself. I believe that going into surgery in a positive state of mind can make all the difference. I believe that you believe you'll live, you will. So try to believe for me okay?" Meredith nodded as Izzie left the room.

"She's trying to help you, Mer," Derek said as he noticed the despondent look return to Meredith's face.

"Somehow I don't think a cartoon will help me," Meredith replied. "Can you stop it?"

"But I love finding Nemo," Derek argued. "Come on, let's just watch it."

"Fine," Meredith sighed as she put the remote control down.

Derek stood up, went over to Meredith and gently moved her over in the hospital bed a little. Then he took his shoes off and carefully climbed into the bed next to her and put a protective arm around her. Meredith snuggled close to Derek, listening to the constant sound of his strong heart beating. This seemed to relax her. It always did. After a while Meredith began to surprise herself as she took in Finding Nemo, even laughing at some parts.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How's Meredith?" Alex asked George as he caught up with him in one of the surgical halls.

"I know as much as you do," George replied.

"What are the interns doing?" Alex asked George as they noticed a group of interns behaving curiously at the end of the hall. One was holding a fist full of money.

"Come and get your tickets for the best show on earth," they overheard him say as they got closer. "It's the showdown for the year, Doctor Hahn versus Doctor Burke as they fight over the heart of Doctor Meredith Grey."

"Hey!" Alex called out angrily. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I see we have a taker," another intern who was keeping a log book said. Alex snatched the logbook out of his hand as well as the money from the other intern.

"Don't tell me you never did this kinda thing," a nearby female intern asked?

"No," Alex replied angrily. "Never have I ever compromised the privacy of a member of staff. We're not operating on some random stranger. Meredith is one of us and she's sick. While she's lying in a bed somewhere preparing for surgery you low life bastards are trying to make money of it. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"You're not gonna tell the chief are you?" one of the interns asked, fearfully.

"You bet your ass I am," Alex said as he started to walk away. "You can kiss surgery goodbye for a long time." As Alex left the interns looked pleadingly at George.

"Not cool guys," George said as he shook his head, ashamed at them, and walked away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What are you doing?" George asked Cristina as he caught her peeking into a surgical preparation room.

"Kissing my cardio career goodbye," Cristina replied. That was exactly how she felt at that moment as she watched Burke and Erica fighting over who was going to do what in Meredith's surgery. Izzie stood back, not knowing where to look and seeming like she didn't want to be there.

"You're giving me all the easy parts of the surgery!" Erica said accusingly to Burke, her patience wearing thin.

"Fine, I'll open then," Burke said as he started on the practice model.

"So you're giving yourself even more surgical time?" Erica asked.

"I can't work under this kind of pressure!" Burke replied, angrily.

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before-"

"Okay both of you just SHUT UP!" Izzie shouted. She could hardly even believe that she said it. Erica and Burke both immediately turned their attention towards her. "Have either of you even been to see Meredith since your little fight with the chief?" Izzie asked. "No, didn't think so. While you've been carrying on like a couple of five year olds I've been to see the patient numerous times. If you'd bothered to do your jobs and check on her you would know that she's scared out of her mind right now and is in desperate need of some reassurance by her surgeons who have yet to see her. Now shut up and do your goddamn jobs like the professionals that you claim to be!"


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

Erica and Burke stood there in stunned silence staring at Izzie Stevens. Not because she had yelled at her superiors but because they both knew that she was right. They had been so focused on battling each other that they had forgotten the bigger picture and they were both embarrassed that this had to be pointed out to them by a subordinate.

"Doctor Burke," Izzie said, hands on hips. "Have you been to see Meredith lately?" Burke shook his head, appearing a little embarrassed. "And is that your usual way of preparing for a surgery?"

"Not at all," Burke replied.

"And what about you, Doctor Hahn?" Izzie asked.

"You know that I've seen the patient numerous times today," Erica replied.

"Not since Burke stole your thunder," Izzie said. Erica didn't say anything. She knew that it was true. "Now," Izzie instructed. "You will both go and see Meredith and talk her through any concerns that she may have because she's nervous and she's scared just like any other patient. If you can't do this together in a mature way, you will see her separately. Now grow the hell up and do your jobs." To Izzie's surprise, Burke and Erica didn't snap at her. Instead they both quietly left the room.

When they were gone, Izzie exhaled loudly. She couldn't believe that she had just told off two of the best cardiothoracic surgeons in the country.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," a proud voice said from the doorway. It gave Izzie a fright and she jumped a little. It was Richard. "You did good, Stevens," he said, before leaving. Izzie smiled to herself, trying to ignore the fact that her hands were still trembling.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What are you looking so serious about?" Cristina asked Alex as she spotted him in the halls.

"I freaking hate interns," Alex replied through gritted teeth.

"How is that news?" Cristina asked. Alex was always bitching about his interns. Alex held up a fist full of money.

"The takings from the tickets they were selling to Meredith's surgery," he said. Cristina's face immediately changed to anger. "I'm telling the Chief."

"The Chief's on his way to see Meredith," Cristina said. "Let me take care of the interns."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cristina made a few stops along her way to the interns' locker room, visiting various nurses' stations along the way. By the time she got to the locker room, Cristina had her arms full of paperwork and a long list from the nurses of every job they didn't want to do.

"Okay," Cristina said. "I'm in charge of you now." The interns looked up at her frightened. They knew that what they had been doing was wrong. Now they had to pay. Cristina took joy in handing out jobs for each individual intern who had been involved in the ticket selling scandal. The jobs ranged from cleaning out used bedpans and giving rectal exams to writing discharge papers for non surgical patients and re stocking the supply rooms. Cristina had found her way into the nurses' good books and had got her revenge on the interns. She was satisfied.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Richard Webber made his way to Meredith's room. He was surprised to find not just Meredith but Derek, Mark and George there, all fixated on the television screen.

"What is this?" Richard asked.

"It's finding Nemo, Sir," George replied matter of factly as he turned his attention back to the screen.

"I can see that," Richard replied. "Get back to work, O'Malley. Doctor Sloan, don't you have patients to see?"

"Just a minute…. This is my favourite part," Mark said, not taking his eyes away from the screen. Richard took the remote control from Meredith's bedside table and switched the television off.

"I need to have a chat with Meredith," he said. "Everybody else, get back to work." Mark mumbled something inaudibly as he left the room with George.

"I'm going to get some air," Derek said as he followed them. In truth he didn't know what else he could say to Meredith and he hoped that Richard could say something to help her.

"How are you feeling?" Richard asked gently as he pulled up a chair beside Meredith's bed and sat on it so that they were eye level. Meredith shrugged. "Your doctors are about to come and go through the procedure with you."

"About time," Meredith mumbled.

"I know," Richard replied. "But don't worry, Izzie Stephens put them in their place." Meredith looked confused for a moment. "Now I know you're scared," Richard said. "But you have every reason to be optimistic about this surgery okay? You're young, you're in good health generally, you're not a smoker, you're in fantastic hands with a great support staff. I'm confident that everything will go to plan and you should be too."

"Thank you," Meredith said in a quiet voice. She had needed somebody to point out the positives to her the way that Richard had. He had a way with her that no body else did. "Can I ask a favor?" Meredith asked.

"Of course you can," Richard replied, taking her hand gently in his, the way a father might comfort his daughter.

"I know there's not a lot I can do about being a patient here," Meredith started, sitting up a little. "But the idea of everyone at the hospital sitting up in that gallery watching my chest be cut open…" her voice trailed off. "I just need some dignity." Richard nodded.

"I know," he said. "I understand. I'll make sure that the gallery's closed. You'll have your privacy."

"Thanks," Meredith said appreciatively.

There was a knock at the door. Richard and Meredith looked up to see Erica standing there. She had left Burke in the hall, not wanting to risk Meredith noticing the tension between them.

"I'll leave you two to talk," Richard said. He gave Meredith's hand a gentle squeeze, leaving Meredith and Erica to discuss the surgery in private.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After checking on her own patients, Cristina headed back to the Cardio ward to check on Meredith, figuring that Erica and Burke would still be comparing ego sizes. She was wrong. As she looked up from her pager in the hall she found herself just meters away from Preston Burke. Their eyes were locked on one another. There was no way that Cristina could pretend that she hadn't seen him.

"I… uh…" Cristina stammered, hating how insecure and nervous she sounded. "How's Meredith?"

"Her vitals are the same," Burke replied. "Doctor Hahn is with her now. We're going to prepare her for the surgery soon." Cristina nodded. There was an awkward silence that seemed to last an eternity.

"So how have you been?" Burke asked. Cristina had never been good at small talk but at that moment she didn't have the courage to get straight to the point.

"Uh… good," she replied. "You know, working and… and how are you?" She hated what he turned her into: a stammering, nervous ex girlfriend.

"I'm doing okay," Burke replied. "It's good to see you." There was another long silence. Cristina's heart was pounding so loudly in her chest she wondered if Burke could hear it.

"I have to see a patient," she said.

"Cristina," Burke said as she started to walk away. Cristina slowly turned back around to face Burke. "Would you join me for a late dinner after Meredith's surgery?" he asked. He continued before Cristina could think of an excuse. "I already checked. I know you're not working."

"Sure," Cristina answered in her best attempt at being professional. "I'll see you then." Cristina left the cardio ward, feeling Burke's eyes on her. She didn't know whether she liked that or resented it.


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for the feedback, guys! I hope that you enjoy this update.

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

The next ninety minutes seemed to pass by too quickly. Everything was a blur to Meredith. People came and went. Nurses, doctors and orderlies moved around her room, checking her status, writing on her chart, watching her. Meredith actively tuned out, trying to remember the positive things that Richard had said to her earlier. For as long as she had known Richard Webber Meredith knew that his eyes never betrayed him. She could tell that he was optimistic about her surgery. He believed that she would be alright eventually. But she couldn't ignore the slight hint of fear that had been present beneath the optimistic exterior.

"Meredith… Meredith." Meredith's snapped back to the present to see Derek standing over her.

"Are you nearly ready?" He was wearing his gentle McDreamy face.

"What?" Meredith asked. She realized that the orderlies had started to move her bed. "No!" she cried, suddenly realizing what was happening.

"It's okay," Derek, said trying to stay calm as well. He hated his. Meredith was starting to panic.

"Just give us a minute," he said to the orderlies. The orderlies nodded and took a few steps back, out of Meredith's line of sight. Meredith's eyes were wandering frantically around the room. "Look at me," Derek said softly. "Meredith, look at me." Derek placed his hands gently on the sides of Meredith's face until her eyes were focused on his. "Remember everything that you've been told? You can do this. You're going to do this and you're going to be okay." Meredith felt her breathing start to slow and steady as she stayed fixated on Derek's eyes. She could tell that he really believed that she would be okay. He had to. There was no alternative.

"Hey, Mer," Izzie said, appearing in Meredith's line of sight. She gave Meredith a comforting smile and Meredith was glad to see her. "I'm going to be with you the whole time, okay?" Izzie said. Meredith took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'll see you soon," Derek said, brushing his hand through Meredith's hair. "I love you. So much."

"I love you too," Meredith replied. "Can we go now?" She didn't want Derek to see her cry.

"Sure," Izzie said, indicating for the orderlies to resume their positions. Derek leaned forward and kissed Meredith on the lips. A lingering, passionate kiss. Then he stood back and let her be led away. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life.

Derek took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. Doctors aren't used to being out of their depth and he was no exception. Suddenly he felt a supportive hand on his back.

"It'll be alright, man," Mark said as they watched Meredith disappear around the corner.

"Don't you have surgery?" Derek said, chocking back tears.

"They've been cancelled," Mark said. "There's nowhere more important for me to be right now."

"Thank you," Derek whispered, staring at his feet and trying to regain his composure.

"Come on," Mark said. He led Derek back to Meredith's empty room and switched Finding Nemo back on.

Izzie looked down at Meredith as she was wheeled into the OR. She was trembling all over. Izzie wiped away a stray tear that fell down Meredith's cheek and took her hand in hers supportively. Meredith looked up at Izzie and gave her a little, grateful smile. She was glad that Izzie was there.

The orderlies led Meredith into the OR.

"I'm just going to scrub in," Izzie said. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Hi Meredith," Burke said with a reassuring smile. Erica stood beside him, giving Meredith the same smile.

"Can I just say something before you put me under?" Meredith asked.

"Anything at all," Burke replied.

"I know that it must be killing you to be in the same OR as each other," Meredith said. Burke and Erica were unresponsive. "But if you get angry can you just make sure that you don't take it out on the patient?"

"You have nothing to worry about," Erica said to Meredith. "You couldn't be in better hands."

"Doctor Hahn's right," Burke added. For the fist time that day Meredith actually laughed.

"This must be killing you," she laughed. A couple of nurses stifled their own laughter underneath their surgical masks.

"I think the patient is ready now," Burke said uncomfortably.

"This makes a welcome change!" Izzie said as she went into the OR scrubbed up, upon hearing Meredith's giggles. She took Meredith's hand and gave it a supportive squeeze. Meredith's eyes slowly closed as the anesthetic took effect.

"She's ready," Erica said. "Doctor Stevens, please make the first incision." Izzie let go of Meredith's hand and got to work.

Richard Webber sat in the gallery. As he saw Izzie Stevens ready to begin Meredith's surgery, he diverted his eyes and left the room. He knew that Meredith wanted her privacy and he respected that enough to make sure that even he was not a witness to it. Richard closed the door to the gallery and stood outside, personally guarding it from any eager interns who would try to sneak in. He would stand there for as long as it took.

"Very good, Doctor Stevens," Burke said as Izzie stepped back. "Doctor Hahn, would you like to go next, or shall I?"

"I'll take it," Erica said in her best attempt to be civil. "Just don't breathe down my neck okay?"

"I have no intention of doing that," Burke said as Erica began the more difficult part of the surgery." Burke stood back, deliberately putting Izzie between him and Erica. Although he tried not to show it, he was impressed by Erica's skills. She had improved even more since the last time that he had seen her operate.

"Pretty good, huh?" Izzie said, knowing what Burke was thinking.

"Hmm," Burke said neutrally.

"Cristina, are you going to take a break?" George asked as he, Alex and Cristina sat glumly at a table in the cafeteria. Cristina was frantically filling out patient charts.

"There's too much to do," Cristina said, not looking up. George turned his attention to Alex who was just sitting there. He looked angry at the whole situation. They all were.

"Cristina," George said again. He noticed her hand trembling the more she wrote. George reached over the table and rested his hand on top of Cristina's. Cristina finally stopped what she was doing. She rested the pen on the table and stared at the lunch that she knew she wasn't going to eat.

"I'm scared," she said quietly in a rare moment of vulnerability.

"I know," Alex said from beside her. "Me too."

"Yeah, me too," George added.

"Okay, you can take over," Erica said after an hour. The surgery was long and difficult. As much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to see the benefits of having two experienced surgeons involved. Erica handed the surgical tools to Burke who took over. She stepped back and stretched her hands out. Suddenly the monitors began to beep. Erica's eyes snapped back to Burke.

"Shit!" Burke shouted.

"What?" Erica asked.

"I, I…" Burke stammered.

"There's blood filling the chest cavity!" Izzie shouted.

"It slipped," Burke stammered. His hand was trembling.

"Doctor Burke, step back," Erica ordered as she realized what had happened. There had always been the risk of it happening but Erica never thought it would materialize. Not in this surgery. The tumor was located in such a difficult position that one slip of the scalpel could cut an artery. That was exactly what had happened. Erica and Izzie locked eyes in a moment of pure terror as they worked to try and repair the damage before time ran out.


	13. Chapter 13

Hey everyone. Thank you for your feedback so far. I'm glad that people are still enjoying this fic. I'm sorry about the lack of updates. It hasn't been the easiest couple of months for me and I do appreciate your patience. Just a heads up that this is the second last chapter of this fic probably.

Just to recap what happened, Burke had a slip of the scalpel in Meredith's surgery causing things to go very wrong…

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Izzie looked up at Burke and Erica with fear and panic in her eyes. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. While preparing for the surgery, Izzie has been using every technique that she could imagine to forget that they were operating on Meredith. If she let herself get too emotional she worried that she could make crucial mistake. Now that the patient was serious trouble, Izzie couldn't take her eyes away from Meredith's helpless face. This wasn't just some patient that she didn't know.

"Doctor Stevens!" Erica Hahn said for the fifth time. Izzie had finally heard her. "I need you to focus," Erica said seriously. Izzie nodded and looked up at Erica. Burke still looked extremely shocked by what had happened.

"I need another set of hands here!" Erica shouted as she worked frantically to save Meredith's life. Izzie took a deep breath and got to work, forcing the image of Meredith's face out of her mind.

Preston Burke stood back. He couldn't remember the last time that he made even a slight mistake, let alone something as major as hitting a patient's artery with a scalpel. Burke looked down at his hands which were quivering uncontrollably. He knew that Erica Hahn was shouting out to him but he couldn't make out what she was saying. He couldn't hear anything except the thudding of his heartbeat.

Cristina had been standing at the end of the hall, pretending to be busy. She watched as the Chief fiercely guarded the gallery from any curious interns. She knew that he couldn't stand there for the entire surgery uninterrupted and she was right. Eventually, Richard's secretary Patricia led Richard back to his office to take an important phone call and Cristina made her move. She couldn't stand to wait any longer for news on how her person was doing. She needed to know.

Before anyone could stop her, Cristina rushed through the door to the gallery and closed it securely behind her. What she saw nearly knocked her off her feet. The first thing she saw was blood. Too much blood and it was everywhere. Cristina felt her heart start to race in panic. This could not be happening. Then Cristina noticed that Burke wasn't working to contain the bleeding. He was standing back looking utterly shell shocked while Erica and Izzie worked tirelessly to mend the damaged artery.

_What is he doing? _Cristina thought to herself. Burke was standing back as though he didn't know where he was.

Suddenly Burke felt eyes on him. His attention was drawn up to the gallery where Cristina was staring down at the gruesome scene before them. She looked as though she didn't recognize Burke. He couldn't blame her. He didn't recognize himself in that moment either.

Cristina looked at Burke

_You can do this, _she said to him in her mind. _Whatever happened, you can fix it. You have to fix this. _

Burke's eyes stayed locked with Cristina's. She reminded him where he was and who he was. He felt his heart start to slow back to its normal rhythm and his hands start to steady again. He took a deep breath. He was in control of himself again. Burke thanked Cristina with his eyes and looked back to the operating table.

"What can I do?" he asked, heading towards it.

"It's done," Erica said, too busy to reprimand Burke on his conduct. "I've stitched the artery back together. She lost a lot of blood. I'm about to start a transfusion." Burke breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry," he stammered. "I don't know how it happened."

"It happens to the best of us," Erica replied. "Even you." Erica turned her attention to Izzie. "Are you okay, Stevens?" she asked.

"Yeah," Izzie said, breathing normally again after the panic of the last few minutes. "She's gonna be okay, right?"

"It's not over yet," Erica said cautiously. "I need you to get some blood for the transfusion."

"Okay," Izzie said, nodding and glad to have a few moments out of the OR to clear her head.

Izzie exited the OR and rushed towards the blood storage supply. She didn't realize that Derek was pacing the hallway with Mark keeping a watchful eye over him. Izzie heard Derek before she saw him.

"Oh God," Derek said, his voice breaking. Izzie looked up to see Derek's face drained of all color. She looked down at her scrubs which were covered in Meredith's blood. Things had been so chaotic in the OR that she didn't even realize that it was all over her. Derek had thought that Izzie was coming to tell him bad news.

"She's okay," Izzie blurted out. "I promise, that's not why I'm here. It's serious and she needs blood transfusions but she's stable and we're doing our best." Izzie wasn't even sure if Derek heard her. His eyes were fixated on the blood. "It looks worse than it is," Izzie said apologetically. "I'm sorry, I really have to get back."

"Thanks," Mark said to Izzie, relieved. He rested his hand on Derek's shoulder. "It's alright" Mark said supportively.

Izzie rushed back into the OR with the blood for Meredith's transfusion and to her relief, Meredith's vitals were already looking better. Even more surprising was the sight of Erica and Burke working as a team without any bickering or glaring. They were united in their common goal.

As Burke worked alongside Erica's steady hands, he remembered that Cristina had been standing in the gallery minutes earlier. Without saying a word she had managed to calm him the way that she always could. Burke looked back up to the gallery but Cristina wasn't there.

Richard Webber hurriedly made his way back to the gallery after taking his phone call, determined to reprimand any curious interns. To his surprise he found Cristina Yang standing at the door.

"Can I help you with something?" he asked.

Cristina almost jumped at the sound of the Chief's voice. She knew that he would come down hard on anybody who snuck in to watch Meredith's surgery.

"I was… just guarding the door for you, Chief," Cristina stammered. "I don't want anyone getting in there."

"Oh, that's very considerate," Richard said approvingly. "I don't suppose you've heard how the surgery is going by any chance?"

"No Sir," Cristina lied. "But no news is good news, I guess."

After another two hours Erica, Burke and Izzie breathed collective sighs of relief. The surgery was complete. The entire tumor had been removed from Meredith's heart and she was continuing to respond well to the blood transfusions. The doctors allowed the nursing staff to continue to monitor her and went to meet Derek and Mark in the hall.

"How is she?" Derek asked when he saw the surgeons. He looked even more nervous than when Meredith had gone in for the surgery.

"She'll be in ICU for twenty-four hours and then we'll move her back to the cardio ward," Erica explained. We got the entire tumor. It's benign and it won't grow back. All of Meredith's symptoms should disappear soon."

"There was a complication in the surgery," Burke spoke up. "We had to repair some damage to a major artery but that is all under control now. We're just going to monitor her closely."

"Thank you," Derek whispered gratefully with tears in his eyes. He shook hands with each of the surgeons.


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you to the reviewers who have been so kind. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

Derek made his way up to the ICU ward with Mark by his side. When he reached Meredith's room he saw that the door was closed and kept a respectful distance until the nurse exited the room.

"How is she?" Derek asked her nervously.

"She's stable," the nurse told Derek. Derek and Mark headed towards the door.

"You're going to have to wait here," the nurse said to Mark.

"I'm-" Mark started.

"I know who you are," the nurse said, unimpressed. "Only one visitor at a time. You're not even family."

"But-" Mark started.

"No!" the nurse shouted. Mark sighed as Derek went in to the room, and made a bet with himself that he would have the ICU nurse in bed by midnight.

Derek had been a doctor for many years but this still didn't prepare him for the sight of Meredith post surgery. Her skin was paler than he had ever seen it. She had IV lines pushing blood into her battered body. A tube was down her throat helping her to breathe. She looked frail and broken. Derek felt tears sting the back of his eyes and he had to swallow hard to keep from crying right there and then.

Derek forced himself to make a clinical assessment of Meredith, to take himself out of the position of terrified boyfriend for a moment. The patient was holding up post surgery. Her breathing was strong. All of the tumor had been removed. It would never come back. The tumor was benign, not cancerous. The patient had lost a lot of blood but she receiving blood transfusions which would make her stronger. All in all she was holding up well. As much as Derek told himself this, it didn't stop his heart breaking seeing the love of his life in such a helpless position. Derek went over to Meredith's bedside and kissed her on the forehead. He smiled a little when the monitor showed her heart race a little at that moment. Derek pulled the vacant chair closer to Meredith's bed and sat down, holding one of her tiny hands in his. He sat there watching her for the rest of the night. Not leaving the room or sleeping, not getting bored watching Meredith breathe in and breathe out. Erica Hahn, trailed by Izzie Stevens, came in to check on Meredith's progress numerous times throughout the night. There was no sign of Doctor Burke.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All night Cristina had stayed awake, waiting for news on Meredith from Erica and Izzie. As soon as she spotted either one of them she would ambush them for an update. As much as Cristina's constant presence annoyed Erica, she remained patient and courteous. She wouldn't admit it to many people but she felt sorry for Cristina being so powerless throughout her best friend's ordeal. Cristina didn't ask once where Doctor Burke was but it was on her mind constantly.

After the most recent update at five am, Cristina decided that it was time for her to finally get some sleep. Meredith's condition had steadily improved from the blood transfusions and she would be awake in the next few hours hopefully. Cristina opened the door to the on call room and was surprised to find Burke there.

"Oh… sorry," she stammered, starting to leave.

"Cristina, wait," Burke said. Cristina turned back around and looked at Burke. She had that feeling of butterflies in her stomach that she would never admit to. She hated the effect that he had on her. "I was hoping you'd find me."

"I wasn't looking for you," Cristina said. "But… where were you? Hahn has been checking on Meredith all night. I thought the Chief put you both on her case."

"He did," Burke said, guiltily. He took a seat on the lower bunk. Cristina stepped into the on call room and closed the door behind her. "I messed up," Burke confessed. "I hit her artery with my scalpel. It was a stupid, careless, juvenile mistake and the worst part about it all was that I froze."

"So you're hiding?" Cristina asked, surprised. "Since when do you hide away? If you make a mistake you take it. You face up to it. You don't hide away like some kind of negligent coward!" Burke looked slightly offended but then realized that it was what he needed to hear.

"You're right," Burke said softly.

"Of course I'm right," Cristina replied, as if it was obvious. "It wasn't just that you made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes. It's that Hahn saved your ass. So you need to stop avoiding her and start thinking in the best interests of your patient." Burke sighed.

"I've missed you. So much," he said, looking up at Cristina. Cristina immediately felt uncomfortable. She simply turned and left the room. As Cristina headed down the hall she felt her chest tighten and her heart beat even faster. She had longed to hear Burke say those words but over the months that he had been absent she had forced herself to try and move on. She had told herself repeatedly that it would never happen, that he had moved on to better things and didn't need her in his life. Now he was back at her hospital saying the things she had dreamt he would say and she didn't know how to take it.

Cristina leaned against a wall in the hall and struggled to regain her composure.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Meredith!" Derek said all of a sudden. After an uneventful night in ICU under constant medical supervision, Meredith was waking up. Her arms started to move and her eyes slowly opened. Then she began to panic, realizing that there was a tube down her throat and trying to figure out where she was. Meredith's nurse had temporarily left the room so Derek sprung into action.

"It's okay, Meredith. I'm here," Derek said calmly. Meredith relaxed a little when she saw Derek's face and allowed him to pull the tube from her throat. As he did this Meredith coughed. She felt as though she was chocking.

"That's it, all over," Derek said comfortingly as he tried to keep her calm. He gently positioned her back against the pillows and handed her a glass of cold water. "Welcome back," he said with his McDreamy smile. "I missed you."

"Is it all over?" Meredith asked. She didn't know if she could go through all of that again. The fear, the anxiety, everything associated with a major surgery." Derek nodded.

"I hear that it was a success and you're gonna be just fine," he said, affectionately tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Thank God," Meredith said, breathing an enormous sigh of relief. As she did so she winced in pain.

"Stay still," Derek instructed in his doctor's voice. "You've just had major heart surgery. You've had your chest cracked open and blood transfusions. You should not be moving around."

"Blood transfusions?" Meredith asked, confused.

"Long story," Derek said. Meredith followed his instructions and tried to relax. It wasn't easy. Being a patient made her nervous.

"Good morning," Erica Hahn said from the doorway with a broad smile on her face. "Nice to have you back with us, Grey."

"Yes it is," another voice said from the doorway. It was Preston Burke.

"Doctor Burke," Erica said, surprised to see him back.

"Good morning, Doctor Hahn," Burke said respectfully.

"Would you like to inform Meredith, how the procedure went?" Erica asked him.

"Certainly," Burke replied and got back to work.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey there

This is the last chapter of this fic. I'm sad to see it end but I have loved writing it. Shonda Rhimes has created such an amazing group of characters and I love writing them. Thank you to those who have reviewed for me. I really appreciate it and I hope that you enjoy this last chapter. I want to dedicate this chapter to my friend Rosalie.

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN **

Preston Burke stood nervously in Richard Webber's office.

"What did you want to see me about, Doctor Burke?" Richard asked. "I'm a busy man." Burke took a nervous breath.

"Without treading on any toes, I was wondering if it would be possible to return to Seattle Grace on a more permanent basis," Burke said tentatively. This seemed to surprise Richard. His eyes widened a little in surprise and he leaned forward, considering Burke's offer.

"Why do you want to come back?" he asked.

"I miss working in a hospital," Burke replied. This wasn't a complete lie. He missed Cristina but these days he was only spending two days in surgery.

"Running your own practice isn't all it's cracked up to be?" Richard asked. Burke shook his head.

"I do too much sitting around and not enough surgery," he admitted.

"And you want to be around Yang again," Richard observed, without judgment.

"Yes, Sir," Burke replied, not wishing to say anything more on the matter. There was a long silence. Richard appeared Pensive.

"You realise that Seattle Grace has been downgraded to a level two teaching hospital," he started. "And if I have the two best cardiothoracic surgeons in the country that will bring us back up to a level one hospital." Richard appeared to be talking himself into the deal. He nodded. "It's a deal." Burke broke into a smile.

"There are some conditions," Richard warned, in a stern voice. Burke regained his composure. He nodded, waiting to hear the rules.

"This is a teaching hospital," Richard started. "You will teach. There will be no favouring Doctor Yang or any other Resident or intern. You will each everyone equally."

"Yes, Sir," Burke nodded.

"And, you chose to leave and you chose to come back. This does not mean that you take precedence over Doctor Hahn. I want us to bring in more surgeries and you will share those surgeries. You do not have to perform them together but I expect you to respect Doctor Hahn and her abilities. If she wants a surgery, you do not take it away from her. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Burke replied. He had a newfound respect for Erica Hahn after she rescued him in Meredith's surgery.

"Thirdly," Richard said. "Doctor Hahn is doing some research that could bring her into contention for the Harper Avery. If any incoming surgeries will assist her in her research, they belong to her." Burke nodded.

"I can live with that," he said.

"Very well then," the Chief replied. He stood up and extended his hand to Burke. "Welcome back on board, Doctor Burke," he said with a smile. "Go back to your practice. Tie up your loose ends there and I'll see you back soon."

********

"Ow, ow, ow," Meredith said as Derek and Izzie gently helped her to walk down the hall.

"Okay, we're stopping," Derek said.

"No, it's fine," Meredith protested. "It's good to start walking around."

"Not if you're in this much pain," Izzie said. "You're not wonder woman, Mer. Stop trying to be."

"I'll get a wheelchair," Derek said.

"No," Meredith insisted. "I'll turn back, I promise. I don't take too well to being dependant on others. I need to do this. Just let me walk back."

"Okay," Izzie said with a sigh. "But we're going to go really slow." Meredith nodded. "Geez, usually we can't get patients to start walking around after surgery and you don't want to stop." Meredith laughed.

"Ow!" she said. "I forgot that laughing hurts."

"No more sitcoms for you then," Derek joked with a little smile as he and Izzie gently turned Meredith around and helped her to walk back to her room.

"So when can I go back to work?" she asked Izzie.

"Mer, it hasn't even been a day," Derek said, protectively.

"You won't be standing in six hour surgeries for a while. Doctor's orders," Izzie said. Meredith made a face. "You should be able to watch from the gallery in a few weeks and then start doing rounds again." Meredith sighed, thinking that the recovery was going to be worse than the surgery. After what seemed like an eternity they found their way back to her bed and she allowed Derek and Izzie to help make her more comfortable.

"I'll be back to check on you later," Izzie said with a smile as she left Meredith and Derek alone. Meredith sighed.

"What is it?" Derek asked. He leaned across the bed and stroked Meredith's hair.

********

*SIX WEEKS LATER*

"I would like to dedicate this toast to Meredith," Derek said, as he raised his glass. He smiled at Meredith, knowing that he would embarrass her by what he would say next but it seemed worth it. "The one and only love of my life."

"Aw," Izzie said with a smile, raising her glass. Cristina made a disgusted face and raised her glass quickly before downing it at great speed. Meredith laughed.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Meredith said. "It's not like I can perform surgeries or anything yet."

"Here's to no more daytime television," Alex said. "Thank God. If I have to hear one more time what Oprah said about whatever I'm gonna lose it." Everyone laughed.

"I'll drink to that," George said. Meredith smiled. She was glad to be going back to work tomorrow. Being away from the hospital hadn't just made her realise how much she missed surgery and that she had made the right career choice, but being away from her friends, who had become her family had proved difficult. Meredith was happy to be drinking with them tonight and to be returning to work the next day, well on her way to recovery.

"Is anyone sitting here?" Cristina heard a familiar voice behind her. She froze and then forced herself to turn around. Right in front of her was Burke.

"Yes," Cristina managed to utter defensively. Burke looked around. The usual crowd were all there.

"Who?" he asked.

"Uh…" Cristina hadn't thought this far ahead. "No one," she admitted, turning back around. Burke took a seat beside her.

"What are you doing back?" Cristina asked him, staring at her drink. Everybody else at the table pretended to be busy talking to each other.

"Owning my own practice wasn't all it was cracked up to be," Burke replied. There was an awkward silence. "And I missed you," he confessed. Cristina didn't know what to say. On the outside she looked composed, almost as though she was barely listening to him but inside her heart was pounding like a jackhammer.

"What about your girlfriend?" Cristina asked.

"Girlfriend?" Burke seemed confused.

"The woman who answered your cell when I called you about Meredith."

"My secretary?" Burke laughed, which Cristina didn't appreciate. "That would me Mary-Anne. She's fifty-two and very happily married."

"Oh," Cristina said, blushing a little and feeling like an idiot.

"I don't want to put any pressure on you," Burke said in a serious tone. "I know that what I did to you is unforgivable. I will never live that down. But if you ever decide that you want to…" his voice trailed off. Cristina knew what he was hinting at. "I'm always here." Cristina nodded and sipped on her drink. Inside she felt something that she had never quite felt before, as though a piece that had been missing from her had fit back into place. Cristina looked up at Meredith who gave her a quick wink and a smile. She was glad that Burke was back.

"I think that I should get home," Meredith said, with a pretend yawn. "Big day tomorrow." Everyone seemed to agree. They all left. Meredith and Derek leaving hand in hand, looking genuinely happy and relaxed.

"I should probably go too," Burke said, not wanting to crowd Cristina.

"You just got here," Cristina said, finally finding her voice. "Why don't you stay and have a drink with me."

"I'd like that," Burke said with a gentle smile.

**THE END**


End file.
